Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
