She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
