I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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