best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
