so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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