if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick