I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
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I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to