are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you would pick up someone in the library
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
