This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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