I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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