What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
