Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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