So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
