I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
