omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
