We won't sleep together?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
