Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
