So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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