it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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