Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
