i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
