You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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