My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
