Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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