i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
