did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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