why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
