Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
