It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
