He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
