So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
