If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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