so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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