You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
