the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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