Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
nutella sex= disaster
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
