yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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