I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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