I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
