and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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