bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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