you have to choose: penises or morals?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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