just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
