yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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