I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
