tell your sister to shave her snatch
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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