It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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