Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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