Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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