$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
