I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
