she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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