Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
