Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
