somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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