Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Blood and glitter go together right?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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