I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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