So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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