I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
