they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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