Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
