school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
