he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
