I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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