these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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